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News Article, December 2002
Missing missiles - Astronaut for £200 a month - Buy a Daimler for grain - Enron signs removed from Houston
One of our missiles is missing, or a whole pallet of them to be exact. The MOD's privatised research company QinetiQ (owned by the Carlyle Group, European chair: John Major) was supposed to destroy a pallet of unwanted warheads under water in the Bristol Channel. But they didn't bank on the strong spring tides, which ripped the explosives off their mooring never to be seen again.
The Russian space programme is in crisis, reports Pravda, as the authorities struggle to find people who want to be cosmonauts. The Russian economic crisis means they have to 'boldly go' for only £200 a month.
Need a new car? Then head for Argentina where the IMF-sunk local currency is so worthless that DaimlerChrysler is prepared to accept harvested grain as payment.
Visitors to Houston can no longer see one of its most famous sights: Enron has removed the crooked 'Big Es' from its offices. 'We're trying to move forward' said a spokesperson. Souvenir hunters will be able to bid for the signs at an auction next month.
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